A SIMPLE LIFE ON PAPER 📃 (part 3)

Those three were actually creative and sharp. The other guys that 0came up later were mentally late. Emeka behaved as if he was a more important than all of us in the office and considered the fact that Uzomaka was also Igbo as his exclusive right to her attention.

Patrick was always busy online. Blackberry should sue him using their device beyond its prescribed basic use.

He couldn’t design a gate when I asked him to. He couldn’t design a low-cost two bedroom semi-detached, he could not repair workshop. To make matters worse… he is slow at typing on a regular PC!

A two months after I had paid my rent I got a call from an unknown number. It was my landlord Chief Balogun.

After our pleasantries, he inquired if the caretaker had gotten in touch with me. He sounded annoyed when the answer was negative. He said he was coming over the next day. He had something to do in the compound. I had no problem with that. It was going to be Saturday.

Saturday was just another boring day. I was at home watching some movies I had downloaded over the week and drinking my homemade jug of milkshakes (I would buy bananas, a whole pineapple, watermelon, oranges and a litre of yogurt then I would blend them up in batches). I had completely forgotten about my landlord’s arrival. The man ended up coming sometime around three in the afternoon. His driver knocked on my door and told me Chief was waiting in the opposite apartment.

I went to my room, put on a shirt and went to meet him.

He was with a lady and they hushed whatever they were talking about when they felt my presence. She looked really alluring. She had an lean figure with just the right amount of curves to count as an eight but that was not what made stand in awe for a brief second; She had

such a beautiful face I did not even notice she was busty!

Chief introduced her as his daughter Tinuke. She was going to serve in the state so she decided to take up the only vacant apartment he had in the estate. Then he went on to tell me how the caretaker had been collecting huge sums of money for the annual renovation of each flat. He had discovered it the other day when I told him I effected the renovations from my own pocket so he asked a quantity surveyor to estimate the cost of the work I had done and told the caretaker to pay me back the said amount.

We went around the apartment and she was alright with it. There were some minor points of concern that I pointed out to them and He was in agreement. The both rode off in the Prado after the chief made his intention to sue his caretaker for a gross negligence of duty.

When I thought of Tinuke; a bone grows. For the first time in a long time, a lady featured in my dreams.

At work, the ladies were in the middle of a territorial display between Greg and Emeka. They would raise their voices and generally be rude to each other. Then they would try and get the support of Maryann, Irene, Bunmi or Uzomaka. I avoided their confrontations as best I could. My mind usually went into work.

Uzi had started being nice to me all of a sudden. She went out with Bunmi for lunch and got me a takeaway bag. I was so stupefied that it was showing on my face.

“You work too hard. I would not like to see you get an ulcer” she said with a wink as she went majestically walked back to her seat. I think I said, “thank you” at one point but I am not too sure.

Watch Out For Part 4

A SIMPLE LIFE ON PAPER 📃 (part 1)

At work, my male peers seemed to be competing with me. They would always try to prove that they knew more than I did on any topic I ventured to discuss. Fortunately for me, I don’t discuss topics I don’t know much about. I reckon they did that because of Irene and Maryann…the only two babes in our office of eight.

So I keep to myself and let the guys fight for the attention of the ladies. Of all the guys, the most macho and eager to mate is Gregory. He was a shameless flirt that used a long range of vulgarities as compliments and let his eyes wander down any little cleavage or rear that came his way. I get a really bad vibe from him and by the way the ladies started covering up at work…I probably was not the only one.

I was called into the director’s office one day and he gave me a list of five people who I was going to be overseeing during their industrial training. The list included their institutions and contact details. I was to contact them all and tell them when to resume. I knew this was going to bring me some friction with Greg because that was his responsibility and he used it to cater to his carnal needs (and brag about it in the office when his supplier had gone back to school).

I went back to my table and composed an SMS telling them to report to the office on the first Monday of the upcoming month and report to me by eight in the morning. I knew Greg let them come at will but I would rather they came around the same time I did so I would not have to assign chores on multiple occasions or get distracted from my work by a late arrivals.

Maryann came over to my desk and took the paper with the list on it. She read through it and laughed. “So now you will be the one filling our ears with IT students related escapades,” she said out loud. I suspect she wanted Greg to know I had taken his feeding ground. If that was her aim, it worked. He sprung to his feet and came to my desk. Playfully took the list from her and scanned through it. “All these schools are boring,” he said with a hiss. “You won’t get any fun from this batch,” he said as he walked back to his seat. Maryann looked up from her laptop and looked at Greg with scorn.

“Do you think Michael is as primitive as you?” Her question was laced with so much contempt that Greg did the smartest thing he had ever done since I knew him; he kept his trap shut!

In the ten days to their arrival, all my correspondences with Greg were not just short but laced with contempt. I did not really care, but the other guys in the office were trying to reconcile us. They had basically no luck.

Three out of the five students that I was expecting arrived promptly. I instantly felt a wave of pity for the two ladies (Bunmi and Uzomaka) because they were both very attractive and had alluring outfits on. Greg will definitely hunt them down till they leave.

My introduction was brief and straight to the point. Told them I was going to be responsible for all the permissions they require and work allocation they are to receive. I also stated that other officers in the office are allowed to allocate work to them in the event that I am not around to give it to them personally.

As I expected, the only amongst them had a question to ask. Unfortunately for him, he asked an obviously stupid question. The “rep” he was trying to build with the ladies suffered a blow. His name was Abdulrasaq. His shiny shoes, super pressed clothes and stomach-high shirt-tuck were a testament as to how serious he was about his training. Was I impressed? No, I wasn’t.

WATCH OUT FOR PART 3

A SIMPLE LIFE ON PAPER 📃 (part 2)

My life was basically in a boring routine. I had recently been employed into the federal civil service as an architect and for a young guy at twenty-six; I had lost all flare in my life.
My steady job and occasional private gigs were all a means of saving funds towards my intended proposal to my girlfriend of two years. I had only three hundred thousand naira left for me to reach my two million naira savings goal when I got tagged on some pictures of my girlfriend’s wedding by her cousin on Facebook.
I fell into a serious depression for months. My
colleagues and bosses kept their distance at work and my friends avoided bringing up her name whenever I was around. It took two months for me to decide whether I should end my life or start living again. I decided to live.
My daily routine revolved around work and home. I leave for work by seven in the morning and in most cases come back by six in the evening. I had no problem with those hours because I was always able to avoid the hold ups in the morning and make it to work before eight and I eat dinner out before I head home…still avoiding hold-ups.
I live in a one bedroom apartment (that means it has a living room, dining area, kitchen, bedroom etc) in the outskirts of town. The apartment is part of a semidetached building and there are 7 of such buildings in the compound. I had initially paid only a year’s rent but since I got the job I was comfortable with I had decided to meet with the landlord and pay up for another five years.
I was surprised that the man came and knocked on my door in person. He is one of the big wigs in his state that you will definitely see on national TV at least once a month so when I sent a text to one of the listed numbers on my lease, I thought I would get a call from a caretaker…not him.
I ushered him in and he jovially explained how he had spent a year or two without coming to the estate so when his caretaker asked if he would like to issue a five-year lease; he decided to take the opportunity check up on the premises personally.
He came in my apartment around six in the evening on Sunday. His driver came in with him and I offered them drinks. “Sorry I came in without warning, I was just in the neighbourhood for an event and decided to ask you some questions before I decide whether to give you the lease you are looking for or not” he started. For an elderly guy, I knew he was still sharp so I decided to be
on the alert. He could have an ulterior motive.
“Why do you want to commit to a lease this long?” he asked. I explained my situation to him as he nodded in understanding. He was concerned that people who took long leases often don’t know how to maintain the premises the lease. He ended his speech by asking if I could maintain the apartment in the same condition as I had met it. I was taken aback by the question. Not because I felt I could maintain it but because I had to renovate it before I moved in!
I took my time to explain to him the steps I took to inform the caretaker in writing of my desire to renovate the apartment and also the pictures I had attached of areas I hoped to have fixed. I went into my room and brought out my copy of the received letter and presented both it and the approval letter I had gotten two days later. The pictures of the apartment were also on display from my laptop and the surprise that was on my face was transferred to his face.
After he regained his composure, he agreed to allow me the lease.”As soon as you can make the payment, I will send the driver with the receipt”. A thought came over me. If I pay him directly, I would be able to avoid the agent/caretaker commissions. “Sir, can I effect the transfer right now to your account?” I asked. That question led to me presenting a lecture on the efficacy of mobile banking and its numerous applications. He was skeptical until his phone rang and he saw a notification confirming the transaction.
The driver was sent to the car to get the required documents and stamp. Thirty minutes later, my landlord left me with a new five-year lease and a smile on my face. That visit saved me a couple grand…who wouldn’t be happy?
I went on with my life in the usual manner. I would often go visit my friends, but the fact that Peter and Gabriel were always in the midst of one new university girl or the other. I hate feeling like the third wheel (although some of the girls seem like they wouldn’t mind a three-way with me) so I make my visits brief. Mark was a gamer like me. So we could spend hours at his apartment playing Xbox. The only problem is…his girlfriend looks at me like I am cheating her of her time with her guy.
WATCH OUT FOR PART 2