A SIMPLE LIFE ON PAPER 📃 (part 1)

At work, my male peers seemed to be competing with me. They would always try to prove that they knew more than I did on any topic I ventured to discuss. Fortunately for me, I don’t discuss topics I don’t know much about. I reckon they did that because of Irene and Maryann…the only two babes in our office of eight.

So I keep to myself and let the guys fight for the attention of the ladies. Of all the guys, the most macho and eager to mate is Gregory. He was a shameless flirt that used a long range of vulgarities as compliments and let his eyes wander down any little cleavage or rear that came his way. I get a really bad vibe from him and by the way the ladies started covering up at work…I probably was not the only one.

I was called into the director’s office one day and he gave me a list of five people who I was going to be overseeing during their industrial training. The list included their institutions and contact details. I was to contact them all and tell them when to resume. I knew this was going to bring me some friction with Greg because that was his responsibility and he used it to cater to his carnal needs (and brag about it in the office when his supplier had gone back to school).

I went back to my table and composed an SMS telling them to report to the office on the first Monday of the upcoming month and report to me by eight in the morning. I knew Greg let them come at will but I would rather they came around the same time I did so I would not have to assign chores on multiple occasions or get distracted from my work by a late arrivals.

Maryann came over to my desk and took the paper with the list on it. She read through it and laughed. “So now you will be the one filling our ears with IT students related escapades,” she said out loud. I suspect she wanted Greg to know I had taken his feeding ground. If that was her aim, it worked. He sprung to his feet and came to my desk. Playfully took the list from her and scanned through it. “All these schools are boring,” he said with a hiss. “You won’t get any fun from this batch,” he said as he walked back to his seat. Maryann looked up from her laptop and looked at Greg with scorn.

“Do you think Michael is as primitive as you?” Her question was laced with so much contempt that Greg did the smartest thing he had ever done since I knew him; he kept his trap shut!

In the ten days to their arrival, all my correspondences with Greg were not just short but laced with contempt. I did not really care, but the other guys in the office were trying to reconcile us. They had basically no luck.

Three out of the five students that I was expecting arrived promptly. I instantly felt a wave of pity for the two ladies (Bunmi and Uzomaka) because they were both very attractive and had alluring outfits on. Greg will definitely hunt them down till they leave.

My introduction was brief and straight to the point. Told them I was going to be responsible for all the permissions they require and work allocation they are to receive. I also stated that other officers in the office are allowed to allocate work to them in the event that I am not around to give it to them personally.

As I expected, the only amongst them had a question to ask. Unfortunately for him, he asked an obviously stupid question. The “rep” he was trying to build with the ladies suffered a blow. His name was Abdulrasaq. His shiny shoes, super pressed clothes and stomach-high shirt-tuck were a testament as to how serious he was about his training. Was I impressed? No, I wasn’t.

WATCH OUT FOR PART 3

A SIMPLE LIFE ON PAPER 📃 (part 2)

My life was basically in a boring routine. I had recently been employed into the federal civil service as an architect and for a young guy at twenty-six; I had lost all flare in my life.
My steady job and occasional private gigs were all a means of saving funds towards my intended proposal to my girlfriend of two years. I had only three hundred thousand naira left for me to reach my two million naira savings goal when I got tagged on some pictures of my girlfriend’s wedding by her cousin on Facebook.
I fell into a serious depression for months. My
colleagues and bosses kept their distance at work and my friends avoided bringing up her name whenever I was around. It took two months for me to decide whether I should end my life or start living again. I decided to live.
My daily routine revolved around work and home. I leave for work by seven in the morning and in most cases come back by six in the evening. I had no problem with those hours because I was always able to avoid the hold ups in the morning and make it to work before eight and I eat dinner out before I head home…still avoiding hold-ups.
I live in a one bedroom apartment (that means it has a living room, dining area, kitchen, bedroom etc) in the outskirts of town. The apartment is part of a semidetached building and there are 7 of such buildings in the compound. I had initially paid only a year’s rent but since I got the job I was comfortable with I had decided to meet with the landlord and pay up for another five years.
I was surprised that the man came and knocked on my door in person. He is one of the big wigs in his state that you will definitely see on national TV at least once a month so when I sent a text to one of the listed numbers on my lease, I thought I would get a call from a caretaker…not him.
I ushered him in and he jovially explained how he had spent a year or two without coming to the estate so when his caretaker asked if he would like to issue a five-year lease; he decided to take the opportunity check up on the premises personally.
He came in my apartment around six in the evening on Sunday. His driver came in with him and I offered them drinks. “Sorry I came in without warning, I was just in the neighbourhood for an event and decided to ask you some questions before I decide whether to give you the lease you are looking for or not” he started. For an elderly guy, I knew he was still sharp so I decided to be
on the alert. He could have an ulterior motive.
“Why do you want to commit to a lease this long?” he asked. I explained my situation to him as he nodded in understanding. He was concerned that people who took long leases often don’t know how to maintain the premises the lease. He ended his speech by asking if I could maintain the apartment in the same condition as I had met it. I was taken aback by the question. Not because I felt I could maintain it but because I had to renovate it before I moved in!
I took my time to explain to him the steps I took to inform the caretaker in writing of my desire to renovate the apartment and also the pictures I had attached of areas I hoped to have fixed. I went into my room and brought out my copy of the received letter and presented both it and the approval letter I had gotten two days later. The pictures of the apartment were also on display from my laptop and the surprise that was on my face was transferred to his face.
After he regained his composure, he agreed to allow me the lease.”As soon as you can make the payment, I will send the driver with the receipt”. A thought came over me. If I pay him directly, I would be able to avoid the agent/caretaker commissions. “Sir, can I effect the transfer right now to your account?” I asked. That question led to me presenting a lecture on the efficacy of mobile banking and its numerous applications. He was skeptical until his phone rang and he saw a notification confirming the transaction.
The driver was sent to the car to get the required documents and stamp. Thirty minutes later, my landlord left me with a new five-year lease and a smile on my face. That visit saved me a couple grand…who wouldn’t be happy?
I went on with my life in the usual manner. I would often go visit my friends, but the fact that Peter and Gabriel were always in the midst of one new university girl or the other. I hate feeling like the third wheel (although some of the girls seem like they wouldn’t mind a three-way with me) so I make my visits brief. Mark was a gamer like me. So we could spend hours at his apartment playing Xbox. The only problem is…his girlfriend looks at me like I am cheating her of her time with her guy.
WATCH OUT FOR PART 2